20 Tips for
Helping a
Traumatized
Officer
By Dr. Alexis
Artwohl and
Scott Buhrmaster,
PoliceOne
Managing Editor
What you say to
an officer who
has been through
a traumatic
event like a
shooting can
have a powerful,
potentially
lifelong,
impact. What you
do, and don’t
do, can make
the difference
between helping
him through a
difficult
experience and
unintentionally
casting him into
a nightmare.
Certainly all
officers want to
help each other
navigate tough
times, but
without putting
thought into
your statements
and actions
after an officer
experiences a
traumatic event,
you run the risk
of making things
worse…potentially
much worse.
With that,
here are 20 tips
for helping, not
hurting, a
traumatized
officer:
1. Initiate
contact.
For some, it may
be difficult to
make contact
with an officer
who has just
been through a
traumatic event
because you’re
not sure what to
say. It’s easier
to act like
nothing happened
or to nod
knowingly in the
hall and wait
until a later
time when you
can talk about
something else.
Having the
courage to make
contact through
a phone call,
e-mail or note
can be of great
value to the
traumatized
officer. All you
need to do is
let the officer
know that you’re
thinking of them
and that you’re
there to help in
any way you can.
When you make
that contact, be
sure to mention
that you’re
there to help
the officer’s
spouse and
family as well.
Remember, too,
that in shooting
incidents the
non-shooting
officers may be
traumatized as
well so keep
them in mind and
reach out.
2. Offer to
stay with the
officer.
If a noticeably
traumatized
officer lives
alone,
assertively
offer to stay
with them for
the first day or
two after the
event, or find a
mutual friend
who can. The
companionship
may prove
comforting and,
depending on the
level of the
officer’s
traumatization,
could be crucial
to their overall
well-being. You
could also
consider having
the officer stay
with you in your
home.
3. Let the
officer control
the extent of
your contact.
An officer who
has been through
a traumatic
event may want
some down time
with their
family or just
some time alone
to think,
process and
relax. Keep the
offer to
maintain contact
open without
limit, but don’t
force the issue.
Officers vary in
how much contact
is comfortable
to them during
stressful times.
4. Don’t ask
for an account
of the
incident.
By the time you
have contact
with them,
officers
involved in a
traumatic event
has probably
shared the
details of their
incident with
investigators
several times.
They have also
likely played it
over and over
again in the
heads and
they’re tired.
Don’t force an
officer to go
through the
narrative again,
rather tell them
that you’re here
to listen
anytime they may
have something
to share. Also
remember that
there is often
no legally
privileged
confidentiality
for peer
discussion, so
whatever gets
said can and may
end up in court.
Officers should
not be
discussing the
details of their
event with peers
until the
investigation is
over and all
personnel have
been legally and
administratively
cleared.
5. Phrase your
questions.
Ask questions
that show
support and
acceptance such
as, “Is there
anything I can
do to help you
or your family?”
6. Don’t
direct their
feelings.
Accept their
reaction as
normal for them
and avoid
suggesting how
they “should” be
feeling.
Officers have a
wide range of
reactions to
traumatic
events.
Suggesting that
they should feel
differently may
cause increased
anxiety,
confusion and
frustration.
7. Don’t impose
a “timeline”.
Remember that it
can take time to
bounce back from
a traumatic
event and that
timeline can
differ for each
officer. Resist
making judgments
on how much time
you think
it should take
for an officer
to be “back to
normal.” Be
patient,
accepting and
non-judgmental.
Let an officer’s
emotional
aftermath run
its course
without pressure
to hurry through
it.
8. Listen…well.
Remember, one of
the most
important keys
to helping a
traumatized
officer is
non-judgmental
listening.
9. Resist the
temptation to
say, “I
understand how
you feel” unless
you have been
through the same
experience and
really do.
Feel free to
share the
details of a
similar
experience you
might have had
to help them
know they are
not alone in how
they feel, but
keep it brief!
Remember, this
is not the time
to work on your
own trauma
issues with this
person. If your
friend’s event
triggers some of
your own
emotions, find
someone else to
talk to who can
offer support to
you (and
remember that
it’s important
to do so.)
10. Don’t
encourage the
use of alcohol.
It is best for
officers to
avoid all use of
alcohol for a
few weeks so
they can process
what has
happened to them
with a clear
head and true
feelings
uncontaminated
by drug use.
11. Don’t
“congratulate”
officers after
shootings.
Officers often
have mixed
feelings about
deadly force
encounters and
may find such
comments
offensive. Also
avoid making
flippant
comments about
the event, like
“Nice work. That
guy had it
coming” or
calling the
officer names
like
“terminator.”
Even if it’s
done with the
intention of
lightening the
mood, such
comments can be
painful and
damaging.
12. Offer
positive
statements about
the officers
themselves such
as, “I’m glad
you’re OK.”
13. Skip the
second-guessing.
You may find
yourself
second-guessing
the shootings,
but keep your
comments to
yourself.
Critical
comments have a
way of coming
back to the
involved
officers and
accomplish
nothing
positive.
14. Accentuate
the positive.
Encourage the
officers to take
care of
themselves and
acknowledge
their positive
coping
mechanisms.
15. Don’t let
negative
behavior slide.
Gently confront
a traumatized
officer with
negative
behavioral or
emotional
changes that
persist for
longer than one
month. Those
prolonged
negative
behaviors can
signal a
compounding
problem that
could get worse
with time, not
better.
Encourage them
to seek
professional
help and help
them find it if
you can.
16. Don’t
ridicule.
Don’t refer to
officers who are
having emotional
problems as
“mental” or
other derogatory
terms.
Stigmatizing
each other
encourages
officers to deny
their
psychological
injuries and not
get the help
they need for
fear of
ridicule.
17. Educate
yourself.
Learn about
trauma reactions
by reviewing
written
materials or
consult with
someone who has
familiarity with
this topic. This
will not only
help you help
fellow officers
who have been
traumatized, but
it will help you
understand some
of your own
feelings should
you be involved
in a traumatic
event.
18. Keep things
the same, but
acknowledge that
something
happened.
Don’t pretend
like the event
didn’t happen
but do treat
officers like
you always
have. Don’t
avoid them,
treat them as
fragile, or
otherwise
drastically
change your
behavior with
them. Most
officers want to
return to their
normal routine
as soon as
possible.
19. Offer help
proactively.
If you know
there is
something you
can do to help
relieve a
traumatized
officer in some
way—like taking
the officer’s
kids out for a
day with your
family or
helping with
home maintenance
chores—offer the
help
proactively.
Consider saying,
“My wife and I
are taking the
kids to the zoo.
We’d like to
take your kids
along, OK?” or
“I’ve got my
mower in the
back of the
truck and I’m in
the
neighborhood.
Can I stop by
and mow the lawn
real quick?”
This takes the
onus off the
officer to
ask for the
help. Instead,
it becomes as
easy as just
accepting it.
20. Remember
that in this
case, your
mother was
right: “If you
don’t have
anything nice to
say, don’t say
anything at
all.”
Part 2: 20 Tips
for Helping a
Traumatized
Officer (Secure
- Law
Enforcement
Only)
About the
authors:
Dr. Alexis
Artwohl is a
prominent police
psychologist,
trainer,
consultant,
researcher and
author of,
Deadly
Force
Encounters: What
Cops Need to
Know to Mentally
Prepare for and
Survive a
Gunfight.
She is a member
of the National
Advisory Board
for the
Force
Science
Research
Center, the Force Science
News and other
law enforcement
organizations.
Her areas of
training include
peak performance
in high stress
situations,
preparing to
survive deadly
force
encounters,
investigating
officer involved
shootings and
managing the
psychological
damage caused by
trauma and
organizational
stress. Full
details are
available on her
Web site.
Scott Buhrmaster
is the Managing
Editor for
PoliceOne.com
and the Director
of Training and
Content for the
PoliceOne
Training
Network. He is
also a member of
the National
Advisory Board
for the Force
Science Research
Center with Dr.
Artwohl.
